My name is Dara, and I am addicted to Chick Lit

I fancy myself a strong advocate for women's rights (see previous post) and yet one of my guiltiest pleasures is something many feminist supporters would cringe at: I am an undeniable, absolute fan, and persistent reader of Chick-Lit. There, it's out there, I feel better already.

In case you don't know what Chick-Lit is; think Chick-Flick but in book form. I love it, it makes me happy and I don't have to think too hard. It's not sexy romance, no, I can't even be that mysterious, it's simple one-dimensional girl-meets-boy-but-doesn't-realize-he's-perfect-for-her chick lit. To be even more specific; it's generally written by Irish women.

Despite my rampant enthusiasm for this literature, I have to admit that I am getting tired of the "insecure" female narrative. Whether we're looking at Twilight (loved) 50 Shades of Grey (meh) or one of the Irish lady's that I read (hooray!) it's a similar tale. There is a young, insecure woman who has little to no realization that she is actually quite marvelous and she blunders her way through life until a superhero man comes and rescues her from her impending lifelong gloom.

What about the strong, steady, fun, sexy and adventurous women who have no ulterior motives? The ones who have unbelievable friends and a full happy life? I want to read that story. I want to read about a woman who is comfortable in her skin and her world and moves freely in her body. I think those women are fascinating and I know plenty of them. Maybe she'll fall in love (more than once?!) and her entire life won't come crashing at her feet if it doesn't last. I want to read a story about powerful women like the ones that I love and cheer them on... but I'd rather not write the story myself - hint, hint ...

Modern feminism is making me tired

I have been an avid supporter of feminist movement, I have absorbed knowledge from Simone de Bouvier, bell hooks and Gloria Steinem. I have battled men and women who have aimed ignorance at me based solely on my gender. I have been a victim and a front line supporter of women's rights both mentally and physically and now I am tired of where this is going.

Let me explain; my understanding and support of feminism has always stemmed from the fact that it needed to be OK and acceptable to be a woman in our world. Whether that meant I wanted to be a stay-at-home mother or a CEO, feminism was my ticket (as a woman) to getting the rest of the world on board with understanding that I am capable of whatever I choose to become, however I choose to express myself. 

The other day, I found a social media discussion surrounding a "controversial picture" of little girls holding hands with "Happy girls are the prettiest girls" written underneath it. It was cute, it was sweet, it was meant with good intent, yet piles of women tore this picture apart with the argument that the creator of this picture was promoting the idea that women can only be pretty if they're happy. Enough already! While a piece of me understands the sentiment behind their objection, the majority of me wants to throw my hands up and say, "Stop it!" 

Women all over the internet spent the majority of last week calling Miley Cyrus every ugly name under the sun, yet still deigning to call themselves "feminists." Let me tell you something, that kind of ugliness and hate does not sustain any kind of movement.

If I'm struggling carrying a heavy load and a man walks up offering a hand,  dammit, I'm going to let him help and I'm going to do it with a smile on my face. I am, after all, human - and sometimes I need a little help. I support you, no matter what you choose to do with your life (so long as it's not physically damaging or taking the life away from another human being) I say go for it. Let little girls hear the message that happiness is beauty, because if I've learned anything from life I have to say that happiness is an essential piece in beauty. Lastly, let Miley Cyrus (or any other woman for that matter) express herself however she chooses, if it doesn't hurt you and if you have the choice to take part or not, then let it be. 

We are all navigating this world on a very tight rope, we are all learning how to be women (and men) as we go along. The feminist movement that I support, supports women.